Charlie Hunnam as Christian Grey

Oh hell, no! Nein, nein, nein!

First of all, Fifty Shades of Grey should have never been accepted as a possibility for a movie… Well, maybe for a porn but not for something that wants to be a blockbuster and will be shown in the cinema worldwide. Second of all, Fifty Shades of Grey should have not existed. At all! It should’ve remained as a Twilight fan fiction and only fans of this saga would have access to it.

But now they are really making a movie. Seriously, a movie! I hoped, when I first heard of the Hollywood’s intention, that there will be no actor willing to take the part of Grey.  But it seems that the Shades project kept moving forward without a glance to my wishful thinking, and they grabbed Charlie. Charlie, who broke my heart at the end of Green Street Hooligans and who’s role is still fresh in my memory,  even after eight years. And now he breaks my heart again , for a whole different reason.

I hate 50 Shades of Porn (ups, sorry, I meant Grey). It was a waste of time, trying to read it and right after the first sex scene I thought “What the hell??” and stopped. Look, it was nothing new. I spent my high school years, devouring books and from time to time, I also read romance. Romance novels that had better sex scenes than this! You’ll say it’s about the dominance and S&M, and bondage and how hot that is. And I agree. Maybe for some. that’s hot. But not for me. And maybe if the book was better written, without those heavy words that have no place in an erotica story, and the use of some words and phrases over and over again (like “Oh my” or “his pants hang low on his hips” – hahaha), maybe I would’ve liked it more. But with those repetitions, the main female character’s ridiculous and hilarious naivete, I was in way over my head.

And now they are really making a movie with Charlie Hunnam in the main role. How in the hell can I refuse to see it?? Maybe that’s why I’m so upset right now. Deep down I know that at some point, it will be on TV and I’ll have to watch it because of him. And that’s like a slap in the face.

The Shows Won’t Do Without Them

From time to time, we all stumble upon some TV characters which, surprisingly become so important to us that if they die, the show would lose its charm. I have several and by the looks of it, they keep pilling up.

-Daryl and Glenn (The Walking Dead): Daryl, because he’s the special one, made only for the TV series and he doesn’t exist in the comics. And Glenn, because he’s the one who made the group. If either of them dies, no more Walking Dead for me.

-Arya and Daenerys (Game of Thrones): Sometimes, with Mr. Martin need to kill off important characters, I fear for their life. Thank the gods old and new, that both of them have embarked on an odyssey of revenge and conquer or else.. -Mr. Gold (Once Upon A Time) – Kind of cheesy TV show and I just finished the first season but Rumpelstiltskin brings all the fun. I have to add that I will stop watching the show if he dies or someone manipulates him with the dagger. I want him free and evil!

-Castiel, Dean and Sam (Supernatural): I might close my eyes if Castiel dies since the funny childlike Castiel has nearly vanished from the show but I can’t imagine Supernatural without Sam. Or Dean.

Ranting and bitching (Part II)

I’m against the Americanization of some perfectly good foreign films. I’ve heard people say that even though they’re aware that somewhere somehow there’s another version of the movie they completely adore, they don’t plan to see it because it’s not in English. I, for one, will almost always go with the original because the American production companies make their remakes with the sole purpose to gain money. I honestly don’t see another reason for their constant need to reproduce something that’s already good and working.

Seriously, what was the point of making Let Me In? I’ve tried several times to finish it and it felt like a horribly gory horror movie, which by the way, Let the Right One In is not. The Swedish version feels like poetry on screen. Even with all the blood and all the horror Eli brings, it still feels like pure art. Let Me In is just like another dozens of horror movies with the intent to scare and shock. Leave it to the Americans to take a masterpiece and make it their own, in that horrible cheap way they always do. It’s like they don’t trust their audience to have brains enough to understand the plot or to read the subtitles.

I’ve already said my opinion on Black Swan so I won’t attack it any further. But let’s take My Sassy Girl or Il Mare, both beautiful Korean romantic movies. Hollywood made its entrance and did its part with remaking them in another cheap romance flicks. I’m talking about My Sassy Girl (they kept the name) and The Lake House. The same stories with the required American adjustments and they become something you’ll forget soon enough. Hollywood strips them of their souls and gives us their empty version. Why?

You might not know this but The Departed is also a remake. The original is called Infernal Affairs. Hong Kong released in 2002 and four years later, here comes the American copy. And I’m pretty sure in the near future, we’ll get to see the American I Saw the Devil…

When it comes to horror genre, The Ring is the only one that’s better than its original Japanese version. The rest of them, Tale of Two Sisters, Shutter, Premonition, Dark Water, The Eye, Pulse, Into The Mirror (I admit, Mirrors is also pretty scary), One Missed Call are truly terrifying. Their English version is just a cheap copy.

Yes, they seem to me cheap copies because they always seem to be lacking something (just like in a counterfeit factory, where you produce masses of some product and you release it without caring of its defects) and their original seem to be like a complete full circle. Round and perfect.

I will always encourage people to see the original because if they love the American one and think of it as good, they should also see the first version, which most of the time is better. -Simina

Why Black Swan made me dislike Aronofsky

In his Requiem for a Dream, the overhead shot of Marion in the bathtub followed by her screaming underwater was an exact replica of a shot in the Japanese animated thriller, Perfect Blue. Darren Aronofsky bought the remake rights to the film just to use that one sequence. But when he made Black Swan, he released it as an original. Not one word about Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue which is really sad because if you have seen Perfect Blue you would notice that Black Swan is its almost the exact replica. The only noticeable difference is that in his version, the main character is a ballerina while the original was about a pop singer. When confronted, Aronofsky denied that he used Perfect Blue as his inspiration, which makes me dislike him even more! He could’ve given some credit to Satoshi Kon who, in my opinion, was a genius. Check out some of the scenes used in Black Swan, which are similar to Perfect Blue.

by Simina

5 Main Reasons Why Warm Bodies isn’t Twilight

… no matter how much you wish for it.  -by Simina

1. The books. While Twilight saga was written for teenage girls, Warm Bodies is for a larger audience. First of all its writer is a guy, Isaac Marion and and second of all, he wrote a short story about a zombie in love which went viral on the Internet. And that made him transform it into a novel. Stephenie Meyer wrote her teenage fantasies. Also Warm Bodies is very fun to read because it’s thoughtful,  romantic, funny, and takes quite a unique approach to the zombie story… Twilight is just…   In Warm Bodies you get deeper meanings, in Twilight is all about “how cool it is to have a boyfriend”( this last part was said by Stephen King). And Twilight seemed to drag forever!

2. The Story. Twilight (both movies and books) is told from the perspective of Bella, and how Meyer uses this strategy, makes her main female character cheap and weak. It’s all cliche. It’s a book for teenage girls about Bella and her love for her boyfriend vampire Edward and her friend werewolf, Jacob. What a girl could do when 2 hotties have the hots for her? No deeper meaning, no moral truths or values to be achieved from it, nothing. Warm Bodies is a about a zombie who falls in love with a girl and begins to change. It uses the same technique, first person narrative but from the perspective of R, who is a zombie, who has real feelings of loneliness and doubt, of wanting and need. Isaac Marion achieves to create a character much more human than Bella Swan, in a zombie. Warm Bodies has the power to make you feel all warm inside and cheer for their characters to fulfill their journey of changing and love.

3.The Characters. Compared to Bella, Julie has a life! She has friends, dreams on her own and most importantly, she’s smart. She knows how to kill zombies and defend herself and she fights side by side with R, at one point. Bella is exactly the opposite. Her life begins when she meats Edward, she’s weak and clumsy, always waiting to be protected by her boyfriend and his mates. And compared to Edward, R is coherent in what he feels for Julie and for the world outside. He knows he’s a monster but he also knows he’s able to change. He’s sweet and considerate. Edward on the other hand.. We never get know how he really is because Twilight is Bella centered, but from what I’ve seen and read, he contradicts himself all the time. He wants to protect Bella, but he flees the scene. He’s so attracted to her, that he does everything not to be near her… (Jesus, no wonder where the belief that if he ignores you he has the hots for you, comes from).

4.Acting. The talent of the actors from Warm Bodies does not even compare with the gasping-for-words Bella and always-in-pain Edward.

5.Warm Bodies is so much better than Twilight!

Now if you want to talk about Beautiful Creatures… (hahaha!)

Ranting and bitching…

– by Simina

I can’t think of one movie made in the last 2 years, to be completely original and in the same time, have a great success with media and the public. And I’m talking about the blockbusters, the ones that their success is shown in the profit they made while playing in cinema and the high rating they received on Imdb or similar websites.

Let’s take Hunger Games for example. The story of a bunch of people that have to kill each other to win some sort of game, has been on our big and small screens for years. The same plot you’ll find in The Running Man (after Stephen King’s novel with the same name) from 1987 with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the leading role, and Battle Royale from 2000 with Takeshi Kitano. I can’t think of others right now but I’m sure that there are more titles to add to this list.

Even Warm Bodies which I love, it’s not original. It’s made after the first book ever about a zombie falling for a girl but there were a lot of films about zombies who think and feel, long before it. American Zombie and The Revenant are a example. And I think there is a film about a love story between two zombies, not Bride of Frankenstein, a more recent one, I just forgot its name. Even the fact that R loves a living girl is not new. In Young Frankenstein, the monster has a passionate affair with Frankenstein fiance, Elizabeth.

And after Twilight’s huge success, the love between a human and a supernatural creature has been told in dozens of ways and formats. Not like Twilight had an original story. It has been told many times before, in a more literal and intelligent manner (consider Beauty and the Beast). My hate against Twilight will end when they’ll stop making movies and write books about the same fairytale but with different twists.

The superheroe genre is also lacking in originality. Ah, The Amazing Spiderman! What the hell, Hollywood?? You just made a bullshit movie with all the cliches possible! I get that Peter Parker had to be younger than in the original comics, to attract the teenage audience but stop ruining the genre with stupid lines and script.

There are other titles but I’ll stop here for now. Every year I say I will stop watching these counterfeit productions and stick to the indie and foreign films but I just can’t! From time to time, I have to see  what’s new and hope for the best.